Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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