Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
