I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
