she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
