So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
