Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
