Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
