I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize