Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize