I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
