Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
