Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
soo... how was my night?
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