i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
