i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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