He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
