I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...so i touched it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize