I didn't shave. On purpose
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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