you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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