just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize