he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have post one night stand depression
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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