i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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