sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
