Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
