well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
