I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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