Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is my gift to your gina
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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