You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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