A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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