after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize