Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
