I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
