I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
