I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
