YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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