she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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