hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You are the jesus of drinking
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
