You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
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Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.