Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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