We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
