ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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