Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
