id be glad to
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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