You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
