i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
