Well apparently he's into motor boating.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
