I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.