well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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