I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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