I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize