Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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