I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
