tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
