I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
