Yo dont text me then not text me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
