i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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