It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
